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Who Can I Talk to About My Options?

If you want to talk to a professional about your options, there are different places you can go. Counseling at the places listed below will be free or cost very little.

  • Crisis pregnancy center—This is a place where they talk only to
    pregnant women. It might even have a maternity center attached
    where you could live until the baby is born.
  • Family planning clinic—This is a place where women get birth control
    information or pregnancy tests.
  • Adoption agency—This choice is good if you are already leaning
    strongly in the direction of adoption.
  • Health Department or Social Services—A food stamps or welfare
    worker can tell you which clinic or department is the right one.
  • Mental health center or family service agency—Counselors at these
    places help all kinds of people in all kinds of situations.

No matter where you go for counseling, a counselor should always treat you with respect and make you feel good about yourself. A counselor may have strong feelings about adoption, abortion, and parenting a child. Nevertheless, those feelings should not influence their professional advice nor the treatment provided to you. In order to make up your own mind, it is important for you to get clear answers from your counselor to the three questions found below. The answers to these questions will help you choose the best option.

If I feel I cannot carry my pregnancy to term, how will you help me?

If I decide to take care of my baby myself, how will you help me do that?

If I want to place my baby for adoption, will you help me find an adoption agency or attorney who will listen to what I think is right for us?

If you are not happy with the answers you get, you may wish to find a counselor at another place. 

Will my child wonder why I placed him (or her) for adoption?

Probably. But adoption in the 1990's is probably a lot different from what it was when you were growing up. Most adopted adults realize that their birth parents placed them for adoption out of love, and because it was the best they knew how to do. Hopefully your child will come to realize that a lot of his or her wonderful traits come from you. And if you have an open adoption, it is likely that you will be able to explain to the child why you chose adoption.

Why am I placing my child for adoption?

If your answer is because it is what you, or you and your partner think is best, then it is a good decision. Now it is time to move forward, and not feel guilty.

Resource: National Adoption Information Clearinghouse.